Faces of Vulnerability

Faces of vulnerability

Faces of Vulnerability

Many of my learning moments come from my clients. From groups to therapeutic sessions to speaking at conferences and workshops. One this that remains consistent across the different arenas, the word vulnerability makes people run for the hills. Is it the word? Or the idea of what they will need to do to show a representation of the word? Either way it brings a reaction to those hearing it.

 

For some the face of vulnerability is anxiety. That face is one who starts to think of all the worst results of consequences of the action. One who is suspicious of the actions of others, while taking a second look at themselves? This face for many is overwhelming and not welcomed in intimate spaces. Many pretend they do not see this face or even have this face themselves.

Another face of vulnerability is shame. Shame presents itself when the reminder to being vulnerable means sharing those actions we aren’t very proud of. The past we want to so desperately forget and hid from. The “old” self we no long want to be acquainted with.  This face tends to sit back and observe every other face and want to pass judgement on others to deflect the shame they have for themselves.

Vulnerability comes in the face of confusion for some. This face presents it’s self because pieces are missing. Either from extensive trauma or numbing. In addition numbing is another face of vulnerability. We numb because we hurt due to situations where vulnerability showed it’s face and we were taken advantage of. Hence the face of confusion.

Lastly the face of vulnerability can be seen as a face of acceptance. A face that has traveled through all of the prior faces and maybe a few others. This face has run from being transparent and willing to change. Yet even in the time of confusion, a clear picture can be seen when you have the willingness to make change. Finding the balance between honesty and acceptance of self and others. We cannot change the things we are unable to change in the lives of others however we can change our perspective towards change.

Being vulnerable is also about having the willingness to change. Vulnerability in itself is all about change. Changing the way we think and approach a situation and allowing ourselves the opportunity to let others in as others let us in. The face a vulnerability is a face we wear at some point or another. However as we continue to grow and learn from one another, take not on the faces that encourage us to change. Redefine your understanding towards vulnerability. It can be strong, empowering, supportive, willing, accepting and caring if you allow yourself to become vulnerable. These too are faces of vulnerability and I challenge you to use one of these faces instead!

Finding Strength in the Midst of Loss

Missing YouDuring our last gathering, the ladies of the MGS Sister Circle shared their struggles with grieving loss.  Through the materials we shared, we came to understand that grieving does not only apply to losing someone to death.  It also applies to the loss of who someone was to you or the loss of their functioning in their life or relationship.  The Sisters shared personal experiences of how they were able to grieve and how they continue to struggle with making sense of their loss.  Some even came to realize that they are in a perpetual state of grief as they struggle with understanding the loss of who their loved one was to them even as they fear one day losing them to death.  One of the more effective ways that we discussed of working through the loss involved letter writing.  Specifically writing a two-way letter; one to our loved and one back from our loved one with how we imagine they would respond.  The other way was through offering and accepting support from others.  Sometimes all it takes is a kind word or a hug!

If you are struggling with grieving loss in your life, I would like to help.  Call Shari at (754) 999-0716 to schedule your appointment.

MGSSisterCircleThe MGS Sister Circle meets every other Wednesday evening at 6:30pm.  Call Shari at (754) 999-0716 for this month’s dates.  Like MGS Counseling and Therapy Services on Facebook for information and updates on future gatherings, topics and guest speakers.

Shari Warner, JD, LMFT is a Therapist, Attorney and Public Speaker in South Florida.  Shari works with individuals and couples to find their inner strength and resolve interpersonal and relational conflicts.  To schedule an appointment with Shari call (754) 999-0716 or email her at shari@mgscounseling.com.

Lifting your Self-Esteem through Self-Acceptance: Part IV

highest selfSo as our journey drew to an close, the ladies of the MGS Sister Circle found that they had challenged themselves to explore areas that had become sensitive to the touch.  They had challenged themselves to look beyond the surface and explore the deep hurts that they have covered for so long in order to find their highest self.   They grieved unrealized dreams and goals and were inspired to set new ones.  They were able to recognize that accepting who they are, where they are, does not mean that they had given up.  The Sisters challenged themselves to perform random acts of kindness for others, and more importantly, for themselves.  By doing all of these things, they individually and collectively took a step towards SELF-ACCEPTANCE.  And while we recognized that our journey to self-acceptance as a group had come to an end, individually each would continue to their pre-destined end…their HIGHEST SELF.  I honor each of my Sisters for being open, willing and vulnerable and for allowing us to travel this road together.  Until next time…Be Well.

If you are interested in beginning your own journey to self-acceptance, but are afraid to travel alone, contact Shari at (754) 999-0716.

MGSSisterCircleThe MGS Sister Circle meets every other Wednesday evening at 6:30pm.  Call Shari at (754) 999-0716 for this month’s dates.  Like MGS Counseling and Therapy Services on Facebook for information and updates on future gatherings, topics and guest speakers.

Shari Warner, JD, LMFT is a Therapist, Attorney and Public Speaker in South Florida.  Shari works with individuals and couples to find their inner strength and resolve interpersonal and relational conflicts.  To schedule an appointment with Shari call (754) 999-0716 or email her at shari@mgscounseling.com.