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Decide Your Impact

Decide Your…
Decide Your Impact

 

 

 

 

The second I walked into the hospital room, Jaime, my great-grandfather’s brother, greeted me with bright blue eyes that I instantly knew belonged to a man with a beautiful soul. He then grabbed my hand with the last bit of energy he had and flashed a genuine smile, as if we were life long friends. Before this, the last time I saw Jaime and his wife was when I five years old, so my memory of them was faint. That being said, his wife Beatriz, also greeted me with an unforgettable energy. What a beautiful couple, I thought to myself.

A few days later we found ourselves gathered together again, only this time, in a funeral home; unfortunately, Jaime passed away. This was the first funeral I attended and I was not sure what to expect. The room where the funeral service was held was filled with around 50 people all who traveled across the country, even the world, to attend. It was amazing to see how loved Jaime was. My father informed me that amongst the crowd of attendees were Jaime’s friends from high school. A group of over 9 friends from a high school in Colombia managed to stay in contact throughout their whole lives; amazing, but unfortunately a rare scenario now-a-days.

In televisions surrounding the room, a montage of photographs was displayed. The way Jaime and Beatriz would look at each other in the picture slideshow really impacted me. Being married for 30 years, their wedding pictures and photographs with their children reflected the undeniable chemistry these two shared. Beatriz had the same glare in her eye at the hospital a few days ago.

After reflecting on this day at the funeral, I felt the need to share a reminder with whoever is reading this. Life flashes before your eyes; one day you’re 16 in a tree-house with your best friends and the next you wake up two years closer to graduating college (still unbelievable). Would you not want to live a life surrounded by people who sincerely love you?  My advice to you is to stop taking life so seriously. Appreciate the people in your life. Call your parents, they’ve only dedicated everyday of their lives since you’ve been born for you. Reach out to old friends; with today’s technological advances, we have no excuse to lose contact. Laugh, fall in love, travel, and learn a new language–experience. To live is to explore situations you have never been exposed to before.

When was the last time you made a new friend? There are 7.4 billion people on this planet. I don’t understand why people are so bitter towards strangers they have never met. The other day I met a unique individual. My friends were hesitant to speak to him as he randomly approached our group at a drum circle by himself. It was odd, as people don’t often do that, but I welcomed him and initiated conversation. He turned out to be an artist and showed me some pictures of his work. He also shared his astrological knowledge on what was occurring with the moon that night, but I won’t get into that. What a fascinating person. These are the type of people everyone remembers. Go meet people and share your story. Hear other’s stories. Every single person has something to share. Every single one of these people has a past, dreams, and opinions. What are you waiting for? Go hear them. These views on life will not be the same as yours, as we are all different, but that’s the beauty of it. I call them, characters. We are all characters and we all have something to offer this world. We play a role more significant than we recognize. Unfortunately, the human race has developed into a consumerist culture. The Rolex on someone’s wrist is being valued much higher than a relationship. The change starts with you. Go and value people.

I honor Jaime Verano for having over 50 people at his funeral. The moment I met him at the hospital I understood why my dad was so fond of him; he was sincerely interested in everyone he met. He treated them as if he had known them for years, with respect and love. Maybe if everyone portrayed these qualities the world would overall be a better place.  Perhaps then, everyone would have over 50 people attend their funeral. We are here, on this world, to evolve. Life is a beautiful opportunity we have been given. Honor it and honor the ones sharing it with you. From the stranger who worked the register at your local market and made you smile from how positive she was at 8 in the morning. To that lovely someone who cut you off on the road, portray unconditional positive regard. Leave an impact that will hopefully have someone saying what I had to say about Jaime (after only knowing him for an hour), about you. Live your life demonstrating compassion.

 

MGS Counseling & Therapy Services, LLC is a South Florida private practice. Mrs. Wilson works with mothers dealing with postpartum and fathers who have difficulty with transitional changes after a new child. In addition Mrs. Wilson works with individuals, couples and families to find their inner strength and resolve interpersonal and relational conflicts. To schedule an appointment with Mrs. Wilson call (754) 999-0410 or contact by email at info@mgscounseling.com

https://www.facebook.com/MGS-Counseling-and-Therapy-Services-LLC-217157051780161/

Effective Communication

Three Components to Effective Communication, MGS Counseling, Communication, Listening,Motivation, Growth Success

 

Communication is undoubtedly the foundation of all relationships; without it, there is no hope for a successful and healthy future with someone. Pretty extreme, right? Well, whether this statement is referring to a romantic relationship or to one with a friend or parent, it is crucial to begin to exercise and practice this. So, what is communication? Communication is the way to avoid or fix problems, as it is the pathway to understanding someone’s perspective. I have seen a lack in communication in my generation. Maybe it’s because of social media, hiding behind a screen we feel more inclined to “tweet” out about feelings instead of talking them out.

One thing is for sure, however, I have noticed a trend. I’ve seen many people simply disregard the problem, keep their pride high, act unbothered, and move on. I am guilty of this, as well. Why is this an issue? It’s quite simple- when we speak our minds, we are able to address problems and work from there. If these issues are never brushed upon, they will not only stay, but will eventually develop into more serious complications. “Ok, so I just blurt out how I feel when something upsets me, right?”, wrong. There is a method to approaching communicating the “right way” in order for it to be successful.

  • Step 1: Reflect. Try to understand why you feel a certain way. What upset you? How can this be avoided in the future? More importantly, put yourself in the other person’s shoes. How does the other person feel about the matter? Why are they acting a certain way? This tends to be the most difficult part, as most of the time people are blinded to their own mistakes so tend to blame everything on the other person. Put yourself in their position and try to see why there is a miscommunication in the first place. Remember that you can’t change a person, you can only help them understand how you feel and work from there.
  • Step 2: Make a list. Two of my best friends have taught me to make lists before facing a confrontation. The reason being that once you start addressing how you feel, one tends to mention irrelevant past scenarios which only leads to more problems as one speaks with resent about things that can not be changed. The list should state: that you understand how the other person feels, how you feel, why you feel that way, and what you suggest the solution should be. Keep it short and simple.
  • Step 3: The talk. Remember the purpose of this conversation- you are trying to find solutions. Speak with respect and give them the time they hopefully gave you to speak. The person will admire you for taking initiative in mentioning the elephant in the room.

I have yet to meet a mind reader. If you want something or feel a certain way, you have to let the other person know. Without communicating, nothing will get solved. If talking things out doesn’t work, at least you tried. In that case, take mental notes on how the person dealt with the confrontation, as it will help you in the future with that relationship and others. Staying quiet, however, is not the way to move forward with someone, as this is quite detrimental. If you really can not build up the courage to speak face-to-face, write a handwritten letter; those are always appreciated. Whatever you do, communicate.

 

If you have questions or comments follow us on Facebook (Link provided below) and share your thoughts.

By: Valentina Verano, Marketing Intern

Gail Wilson is a Therapist, Life Coach and Public Speaker in South Florida. Mrs. Wilson works with mothers dealing with postpartum and fathers who have difficulty with transitional changes after a new child. In addition Mrs. Wilson works with individuals, couples and families to find their inner strength and resolve interpersonal and relational conflicts. To schedule an appointment with Mrs. Wilson call (754) 999-0410 or contact by email at Gail@mgscounseling.com

https://www.facebook.com/MGS-Counseling-and-Therapy-Services-LLC-217157051780161/

Finding Strength in the Midst of Loss

Missing YouDuring our last gathering, the ladies of the MGS Sister Circle shared their struggles with grieving loss.  Through the materials we shared, we came to understand that grieving does not only apply to losing someone to death.  It also applies to the loss of who someone was to you or the loss of their functioning in their life or relationship.  The Sisters shared personal experiences of how they were able to grieve and how they continue to struggle with making sense of their loss.  Some even came to realize that they are in a perpetual state of grief as they struggle with understanding the loss of who their loved one was to them even as they fear one day losing them to death.  One of the more effective ways that we discussed of working through the loss involved letter writing.  Specifically writing a two-way letter; one to our loved and one back from our loved one with how we imagine they would respond.  The other way was through offering and accepting support from others.  Sometimes all it takes is a kind word or a hug!

If you are struggling with grieving loss in your life, I would like to help.  Call Shari at (754) 999-0716 to schedule your appointment.

MGSSisterCircleThe MGS Sister Circle meets every other Wednesday evening at 6:30pm.  Call Shari at (754) 999-0716 for this month’s dates.  Like MGS Counseling and Therapy Services on Facebook for information and updates on future gatherings, topics and guest speakers.

Shari Warner, JD, LMFT is a Therapist, Attorney and Public Speaker in South Florida.  Shari works with individuals and couples to find their inner strength and resolve interpersonal and relational conflicts.  To schedule an appointment with Shari call (754) 999-0716 or email her at shari@mgscounseling.com.

My Name is More Than Mom!

Therapist, MGS Mom, group, Mom group, Individual therapy, couples therapy, family therapy, etherapyMy Name is More Than MOM!

As always we had another great MGS Mom group. This week’s topic was “My Name is More Than Mom”. Some of the moms have talked about losing themselves in the name mom. When asked what they do, they would answer I’m a stay at home mom. When asked about what interest they have it would be kid related. Every conversation would go back to the topic of kids and mom related conversations. How they have lost friends who can’t relate to the life of being a mom.

This topic has been in the air for some time now and many do not know how to verbalize how they feel without it going back to motherhood. Which then makes them feel guilty about bringing it up because that the exact problem.

Well it’s important that you want to take pride in all that you do and want to share in your achievements. As long as we remember that we are more than one defining thing in our lives. As we all spoke it was funny to see prior to kinds each lady could share how she defined herself differently. The different areas that defined them as a woman, wife, sister, daughter, professional and etc. Yet everything changed once children came in the picture.

So as a group we came up with some tools to assist everyone in remembering and maintaining the person they want to see all the time.

  1. Journaling- this is to help get out emotions that could bring confusion. This can help get clarity in different areas they get caught up in everyday life.
  2. Date Night- Having a night they take themselves on a date and reconnect with the woman inside.
  3. Achievements- Acknowledging achievements that happen that are not just kid related.
  4. Support- Talking with your significant other about how they could assist you so everything is not just on you. (Ex. Chores, conferences, sport activities etc.) Many of my moms are the ones who participated in all the activities which make them in mom mindset all the time.
  5. Name- Having other people in your close circle address you first and not your children. Also calling you by your name and not saying “So mom how are the kids doing” or “Mom would you like the baby to have one”. Each woman had a name before having the name mom

Each lady intends to continue to amend this list and create positive change for themselves. Mom is just a small part to the bigger picture of life. I look forward to continuing this topic and many more as we look forward to next week group.

If you have questions or comments follow us on Facebook (Link provided below) and share your thoughts. Or join our great MGS Mom group as we journey towards positive change.

Till the next time.

Live, Laugh, Love

T.P.C (The Parent Counselor)

Gail Wilson is a Therapist, Life Coach and Public Speaker in South Florida. Mrs. Wilson works with mothers dealing with postpartum and fathers who have difficulty with transitional changes after a new child. In addition Mrs. Wilson works with individuals, couples and families to find their inner strength and resolve interpersonal and relational conflicts. To schedule an appointment with Mrs. Wilson call (754) 999-0410 or contact by email at Gail@mgscounseling.com

https://www.facebook.com/MGS-Counseling-and-Therapy-Services-LLC-217157051780161/