Lifting your Self-Esteem through Self-Acceptance: Part III

Perfect ImperfectionAnd so the journey to self-acceptance continues.  The ladies of the MGS Sister Circle met to tackle the last six steps to self-acceptance and what a time it was.   The journey continued with “grieving the loss of unrealized dreams“.  How many of us still hold on to what might have been instead of re-creating and working on what will be or what can be?  It’s okay to mourn the loss of unfulfilled dreams but it’s not okay to dwell on the loss to the point of stagnation.  Next we discussed the good feelings that come from doing good deeds for others.  Part of creating our highest and best selves comes from giving to and doing for others.  Then on to realizing that acceptance is not resignation.  Letting go of the past and things that are out of your control does not mean giving up.  It means re-focusing your energy on those things that are within your power to change and being empowered to do so.   This is not always as simple or as easy as it sounds.  There will be periods of self-doubt and chaos.  And during those times it is suggested that you engage in a visualization exercise where you envision and speak to your highest or best self and what your highest or best self would advise you to do in the situation.  One of the advice your highest or best self might give would be to be kind to yourself.  Treat yourself with compassion and empathy, understanding the it is human to err and that being weak is a part of being human.  Accept yourself and in doing so, find perfection in your imperfection.  Finally we closed with an understanding that the road to self-acceptance is long and filled with self-doubt.  Self-acceptance will not come easy to most, but if we continue to practice at it, having faith that we will one day achieve it then we end up in a much better place than where we begun.  Fake it ’til you make it!

To learn more about self-acceptance read this PsychCentral.com article on 12 Ways to Accept Yourself by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.  Stay tuned for Part IV as we complete this journey to self-acceptance.  Until then…Be Well!   ~Shari

MGSSisterCircleThe MGS Sister Circle meets every other Wednesday evening at 6:30pm.  Call Shari at (754) 999-0716 for this month’s dates.  Like MGS Counseling and Therapy Services on Facebook for information and updates on future gatherings, topics and guest speakers.

Shari Warner, JD, LMFT is a Therapist, Attorney and Public Speaker in South Florida.  Shari works with individuals and couples to find their inner strength and resolve interpersonal and relational conflicts.  To schedule an appointment with Shari call (754) 999-0716 or email her at shari@mgscounseling.com.

Lifting your Self-Esteem through Self-Acceptance: Part II

Accept YourselfAs we continue on this journey of Self-Acceptance, the Ladies of the MGS Sister Circle reviewed some of their responses to the first six ways that are suggested to work on accepting yourself.  Some of their responses led to interesting discussions on the types of people that we choose to associate with, our need to hold on to past hurts and setting new intentions.  Are we associating with people who are progressive and positive or do we hang with the gossips around the office water cooler?  What about the people in our support system…family, friends, co-workers…no-one maybe!  For us to begin practicing self-acceptance we need to begin looking at our environment and the positive energy that we are collecting.  We also should work on releasing negative energy, starting with forgiving ourselves and letting go of past regrets.  Why are you still holding on to the past?  How does it serve you to stay stuck?  How would you benefit from moving forward in your life?  I challenge you to answer these questions.

Another suggestion is to set a new intention for your life:  I will live a life of truth and honesty; I will reframe negative thoughts into positive thoughts; or I will always do my best.  Finally the ladies had a great time on the 6th way to develop self-acceptance…”Shush Your Inner Critic”.  We do this by using positive affirmations to quiet the negative voice in our minds that tell us that we’re not good enough, we will never be loved or we will never achieve anything in life.  Affirmations such as “I am worthy”, “I am Loved” or “I Can Only Do As Much As I Am Able” help us to develop a willingness to hear positive things about ourselves.

To learn more about self-acceptance read this PsychCentral.com article on 12 Ways to Accept Yourself by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.  Stay tuned for Part III as we continue on this journey to self-acceptance.

MGSSisterCircleThe MGS Sister Circle meets every other Wednesday evening at 6:30pm.  Call Shari at (754) 999-0716 for this month’s dates.  Like MGS Counseling and Therapy Services on Facebook for information and updates on future gatherings, topics and guest speakers.

Shari Warner, JD, LMFT is a Therapist, Attorney and Public Speaker in South Florida.  Shari works with individuals and couples to find their inner strength and resolve interpersonal and relational conflicts.  To schedule an appointment with Shari call (754) 999-0716 or email her at shari@mgscounseling.com.

Lifting your Self-Esteem through Self-Acceptance: Part I

selfaccepting1Millions of women, all over this world, struggle with low self-esteem.   Many are as a result of emotional, physical, mental and/or sexual abuse.  Many times the abusers are family members or loved ones whom these women trusted, loved and relied upon to keep them safe.   The ladies of the MGS Sister Circle discussed the issue of self-esteem and some of the ways to begin raising your self-esteem.  One of these ways was through self-acceptance which is defined as “an individual’s satisfaction or happiness with oneself, and is thought to be necessary for good mental health. Self-acceptance involves self-understanding, a realistic, albeit subjective, awareness of one’s strengths and weaknesses.”  Shepard (1979).  In her post on psychcentral.com Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. shared 12 ways in which clinicians suggest self-acceptance can be cultivated.  The ladies of the Circle discussed the first six of these ways during our gathering on March 3, 2016.  They are:

  1. Set An Intention – set an intention to be willing to live a life that is more positive, fulfilling and worthy
  2. Celebrate Your Strength – identify your accomplishments, hardships you’ve overcome, goals achieved
  3. Consider the People Around You – surround yourself with positive people rather than negative people who co-sign your negativity
  4. Create A Support System – create a support system of people who are productive and uplifting (like the MGS Sister Circle!)
  5. Forgive Yourself – don’t allow past hurts and regrets to keep you stuck in a cycle of negative thinking
  6. Shush Your Inner Critic – quiet that inner harsh and judgmental voice by developing a positve mantra (I am authentic, I am worthy, I accept me)

The ladies of the Circle challenged each other to answer the call of the first six ways.   I must say it’s a daunting challenge as we tend to lean towards negative thinking more readily than positive thinking.  I can’t wait to continue the discussion in our next gathering of the MGS Sister Circle.  Stay tuned for Part II of this discussion for the remaining 6 ways to cultivate self-acceptance.   Until then…Be Well!

MGSSisterCircleThe MGS Sister Circle meets every other Wednesday evening at 6:30pm.  Call Shari at (754) 999-0716 for this month’s dates.  Like MGS Counseling and Therapy Services on Facebook for information and updates on future gatherings, topics and guest speakers.

Shari Warner, JD, LMFT is a Therapist, Attorney and Public Speaker in South Florida.  Shari works with individuals and couples to find their inner strength and resolve interpersonal and relational conflicts.  To schedule an appointment with Shari call (754) 999-0716 or email her at shari@mgscounseling.com.

Who Am I?

Who Am IAs the women of the MGS Sister Circle pondered this question, it became very clear that the answer is much more complex than just giving a description.  We discussed the various components of our lives that we use to answer this age old question, such as our relationship with others, our professions, how others see us, how we would like to be seen and how society defines us, just to name a few.   After a lively discussion it came down to identifying ourselves based on how we treat and interact with others.  The things that we do automatically that makes us feel good like helping others selflessly.  Our ambition and drive to succeed,  Our character.  We understand, however, that there are many women out there who struggle daily with self-identification.  If you are one of those women, know that you are not alone and it is possible to learn who you are.  Gather with us in the MGS Sister Circle as the discussion continues…

MGSSisterCircleThe MGS Sister Circle meets every other Wednesday evening at 6:30pm.  Call Shari at (754) 999-0716 for this month’s dates.  Like MGS Counseling and Therapy Services on Facebook for information and updates on future gatherings, topics and guest speakers.

Shari Warner, JD, LMFT is a Therapist, Attorney and Public Speaker in South Florida.  Shari works with individuals and couples to find their inner strength and resolve interpersonal and relational conflicts.  To schedule an appointment with Shari call (754) 999-0716 or email her at shari@mgscounseling.com.

Be Free

Beautiful young woman standing on top of mountain feeling empowered expressing joy and freedom
As lovers / daughters / wives / workers / mothers / grandmothers, we can be pulled in many directions.  Sometimes it feels as if we are at the hub of a wheel, keeping all the spokes in place so that the people in our lives can function.

This feeling of being needed can limit our creative flow and cut us off from our own dreams and passions.  How often have you not done something because it meant putting your own needs before someone else’s?

See yourself standing tall, alone on top of the mountain, and say. “I am free to be me”.  Repeat when necessary.  ~Woman Power, Linda Fields

At some point, we as women, will have to take stock of our storehouse and recognize when we are running low.  We give endlessly to others until there is nothing left for ourselves.  So yes my sisters, stand tall and find the freedom to be selfish with you.  Be free!

Shari Warner is a Therapist, Attorney and Speaker in South Florida.  Shari works with individuals and couples to find their inner strength and resolve interpersonal and relational conflicts.  To schedule an appointment with Shari call (754) 999-0716 or email her at shari@mgscounseling.com.

Join the MGSSisterCircleMGS Sister Circle as we gather every other Wednesday evening to educate, support and empower.  For more information call Shari.